You might know every definition in the gay glossary — in English. But what about when you travel?
According to the hookup app Grindr, 41 percent of users have experienced slang getting lost in translation, and most have this happen before they meet someone in-person. A third (36 percent) said it happens over the app, while a smaller amount said it happens during an IRL conversation (17 percent) or hookup (14 percent). This is according to a Grindr survey of over 3,400 users done in early September.
And in some cases, Grindr users have faked it. Faked knowing what their date was saying, at least. Sixty-one percent said they pretended to understand what a match was saying and hoped context would save them. Over half (53 percent) said misunderstanding killed the mood.
“A guy asked if I wanted a ‘dreier.’ I heard ‘dryer’ and had absolutely no idea what he was suggesting. Turns out, ‘dreier’ is German for a threesome,” a Grindr user told the app. Here’s (just a) tip from Grindr: you’re in a German-speaking country, know the words “jetzt” and “gleich.” These are German for “now” or “in a moment,” which could be useful to signal you’re availability
Another user told the app, “I thought ‘duchar’ just meant to shower in Spanish, so I thought I knew exactly what the plan was. Turns out, he was talking about douching. Slightly different preparations required.”
Here are some other Spanish gay slang you might want to learn: “passivo” means bottom; “activo” means top; “papi” means daddy; and “morbo” means something kinky, sexually exciting, or adventurous.
What about some other places? In South Asia, “panthi” refers to a masculine partner who tops, while “kothi” typically refers to a more feminine partner who bottoms. If you’re visiting China, 1 is shorthand for top and 0 is shorthand for bottom. And if you’re visiting a Portuguese-speaking country, “hospeda” refers to a host or someone who can accommodate.
Grindr’s sex and relationship expert, Zachary Zane, said, “Language can make sex and flirting so much hotter, but take that language abroad and things can get messy pretty quickly.” He also shared his own experience of this happening: “I once thought ‘arriba’ and ‘abajo’ meant top and bottom in Spanish, only to discover I was asking guys in Colombia if they were ‘up’ or ‘down.'”
Grindr also has an in-app translation feature, too, so you can try it out in case you’re stuck. The app shared with Mashable that 31 percent of users have picked up on a new phrase while abroad, so you might learn a word or two.