It’s now three years since Confide, one of the most popular apps for sexy chats, officially shut up shop. We’re still feeling the loss of that special cross-platform gem. Confide featured disappearing messages and end-to-end encryption, making it a favorite among all walks of life — celebrities, politicians, and ordinary folks. Pretty much anyone who wanted to connect freely without worrying about security or annoying digital paper trails.
If you’re one of the many disappointed Confide users looking for a replacement — hey, it may have been three years, but lots of us still have a Confide-shaped hole in our lives — there are some other great sexting apps that are absolutely worth exploring.
Among the most popular sexting options is AdultFriendFinder. It doesn’t have all the same cybersecurity features as Confide — in fact, it doesn’t even have an official phone app, preferring to keep things old-school as a site. But that hasn’t prevented AFF from accumulating millions of active users worldwide. In three decades of existence, it’s become a top destination for very spicy finger flirting (and lots more).
Keep reading to find out how AdultFriendFinder stacks up against Confide (RIP), with a rundown of both the pros and cons, and why you should consider giving AFF a try the next time you want to explore the internet’s sexier side:
Finding a partner
When it comes to sexting, there’s one big difference between Confide and AFF. It all comes down to how you go about finding a connection. When you used Confide, you needed to do some heavy lifting first. The platform wasn’t built to connect you with strangers. Instead, it was meant for connecting you with people you already know. With AFF, however, there’s an existing community of millions of people worldwide. And the best part? They’re all looking to enjoy some adult fun.
So, whether you’re looking to meet someone for the first time or simply connect for a quick naughty chat, AdultFriendFinder offers a search function, allowing you to browse through local singles or even search by very specific desires, plus a wide array of groups and discussion forums based around naughty topics as varied as bondage, foot fetishes, and erotic story writing.
Security
For people who prioritize privacy, Confide was a fantastic app, boasting end-to-end encryption across all communication formats (including photos and videos), ScreenShield technology to guard against screenshots, and self-destructing messages. All of these security features made it a highly attractive app for sexting, since the combination of cybersecurity, anonymity, and the promise of no digital record-keeping allowed people a measure of security rarely found on other sites and apps.
Unfortunately, this is one area where AFF falls short. They’ve already had one major data breach in 2016, in which more than 400 million accounts were compromised, and though they’ve made real efforts to improve their security protocols since then, they still don’t claim to have end-to-end messaging encryption. They do, however, offer ConfirmID to verify accounts, a process that requires both a government-issued ID card and a facial scan, so if you want to err on the side of caution, you can restrict your communications to verified accounts.
Group messaging
Another huge benefit to Confide was the ability to find or create group chats, which helped people who shared a common kink or fantasy to establish their own digital spaces. AdultFriendFinder doesn’t have a private messaging group chat, but it does offer kink-based, public-facing discussion groups and messaging boards, which offer a great place to meet like-minded people.
There’s also nothing stopping you from using those groups to meet individuals. In fact, AFF actively encourages those interactions. So if you do find someone in a discussion forum that you happen to hit it off with, you can use that interaction to break the ice in a one-on-one private chat.
Live broadcasts
One place Confide decidedly fell short was in broadcasting. You could use the app to send photos, videos, and even voice notes, but you couldn’t actually initiate a video call. While AFF doesn’t yet offer one-on-one video conferencing, it does host webcam shows on its servers, so you can either start your own show and hope to attract someone that way or join the chat room of another person’s show to shoot your shot.
If you happen to join a popular live show and want to stand out from the crowd, AFF lets you earn or purchase “points” to tip the broadcaster, making your message pop in the cam chat. You can also initiate a private message with any person in the broadcast by navigating to the Viewers tab, scrolling down to the member you want to talk to, and then clicking on the Private Chat icon to the right of their name.
Staying anonymous
If privacy is your primary concern, you shouldn’t overlook AFF just because it lacks disappearing messages and end-to-end encryption. Spend a quick minute perusing profiles on the site, and you’ll see that many AdultFriendFinder users choose to remain largely anonymous, with no face photos or identifying information on their profiles at all.
The site is remarkably generous in how it allows users to engage with it, and unlike traditional dating sites, there’s no obligation to show your face or even use your real name in a public-facing capacity. Moreover, there’s a real culture of “anything goes” on the site, so if you want to use it as a traditional dating site, you can meet people who want that, but if you just want to use it for a sneaky link or a one-and-done dirty chat, that’s also perfectly acceptable.
The bottom line? What AFF lacks in security features, it more than makes up for with a massive userbase, a laissez-faire, sex-positive culture, and the option to keep your anonymity as you browse the site and search for a like-minded chat partner.